Sunday, August 14, 2011

Relationship Problem Advice - Don't Depend Too Much On Family And Friends

Love Love LoveImage by Gregory Jordan via Flickr
Relationship Problem Advice - Don't Depend Too Much On Family And Friends


Usually though, before any of the above takes place people who find themselves with a relationship problem advice comes from friends and family. As misguided as this may be it is a step taken by a lot of people. When things start to go bad you tend to look to anyone and everyone for help and people you trust top that list.

What you need at a time like this is straight forward, sound advice to help you figure out a bad situation. Trust your instincts when it comes to the advice you find on the internet and in books, too. If it doesn't sound good do not try to use it to fix things between you and your partner.

Do not make fixing your relationship harder than it has to be. No one is born knowing how to be a good communicator. There are classes you can take at your local community college or you can go see that therapist and they can help you learn what to say and how to say it so your partner will listen and engage in the conversation.

When you learn to communicate effectively you can handle anything that comes up in your life including fixing your romantic relationship. When there is no communication, something that started out to be a small misunderstanding could easily be blown out of proportion and become the thing that destroys a once good relationship.

It is so easy to fall into a dynamic that is unhealthy in your relationship due to ineffective communication. Once the dynamic changes in your relationship it is not so easy to change it back and your relationship may never be the same even if you do learn the right things to do.

If the damage has been done and you are looking for Relationship Advice remember to trust your instincts and do what is best for you and your partner, it will be worth it in the long run.

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Monday, July 25, 2011

Save Your Marriage On Your Own

MarriageImage by jcoterhals via Flickr

One of the most common questions we encounter at savemymarriagetoday.com is this: how could one partner save their floundering marriage on their own? It is a typical enough story - one partner leaves, the other stays. One remains "in love", the other is uncertain. Whatever it is that has caused a couple to be apart, the one person who remains bears the prospect, fear, doubt, desire, hope of saving his or her marriage ALONE.

In some of our minds, it stands to argue that since there are two people in this marriage, shouldn't both of us be present to actually try and save it? Or, worse, it's his, her, their fault so shouldn't he, she, they be the ones to make amends? I am just the victim here, after all!

We are telling you right now - if you want to save your marriage and if you find yourself alone in this desire, the above will definitely not help you do it -- that type of talk is at the minimum, negative and at most, self-defeating! It propagates the belief that there is absolutely NOTHING you can do to save your marriage and you should just let it go down the drain. So not true. There is still something you CAN DO. Even in your loneliness and solitude, you CAN save your marriage.

How? Let's begin first by examining what it means to be on your own.
As human beings, we hate being alone. After all, it's part of our make up to be social creatures. In fact, babies develop very early on feelings of trust, companionship and parental support. If they don't get these, say when they're hungry we fail to feed them on time, or if they're wet, we fail to change their diaper, humans develop fears of mistrust, abandonment and solitude. Unfortunately, we carry these fears with us as we get older.

The paradox is that as we grow older in the love, trust, companionship and support of our significant others, we develop an internal strength of self that makes us whole, happy human beings. Ideally, the mature human person should have developed a strong sense of self-awareness, confidence and self-esteem as he or she reaches adulthood. These become the windows with which we view the world, flaws and all. These make up part of our personal shelter amidst challenges and difficulties. This is called SELF-ACTUALIZATION.

However, many of us enter into adult life without even being aware of this beautiful, human truth. We may have experienced abandonment in our childhood or been disappointed by our romantic relationships; whatever it is, it has caused to shift from proper mature development to fears of abandonment and the inability to see that we can stand on our own two feet.

Thus, many of us enter relationships and marriages with the hope, plan and dream that we would never be alone. We invest so much on our partner, focusing our entire beings on them and relying on them to make us happy and secure. Unfortunately, this perspective carries with it its own poison. It's as if we have blinders on all the time. When our partner indicates some form of dissatisfaction with the relationship, we panic. When our partner leaves, our fears kick in. When something goes wrong with our marriages, it is very easy for us to place the blame of the other person for having made us unhappy.

In order to save your marriage on your own, the key then is a paradigm shift, meaning, the key is to change your attitude and focus. Stop focusing on your partner - stop the blaming, stop the inaction. Take a good look at yourself. You can definitely NOT control your partner's feelings, attitude and reactions but you can control your own. You can go from fearing abandonment to actually taking responsibility for yourself and your own happiness. This is where the human truth about self-actualization comes in. Understand, adapt and internalize this for yourself. Learn it. It will spell the difference not just in your marriage but in YOU.

A whole human being is easy to love. A happy person attracts happiness. In starting with yourself, you can move from being an unhappy, clingy, difficult person to one who can provide an environment of safety, wisdom, trust and open communication. From hereon, dealing with your straying partner could even get easier - for you and for them. For all you know, you may just surprise each other.

Rather than beat yourself up in desperation, try these:
- Breathe
- Smile
- Let go
- Believe that reconnection is possible
- See a counselor for YOURSELF not just for your marriage
- Examine your part in contributing to the difficulties in your marriage
- Forgive yourself
- Change
- Look after your health, beauty and well-being

For all you know, your partner (and you) may just rediscover the person they first fell in love with and more. For all you know, this is the type of you that would allow your partner to come back and initiate communication. When that happens, you have every opportunity to sit down with him or her, discuss your motivations, plans and feelings. You can even get to the real issues surrounding your marital difficulties and actually begin taking positive steps to work them through.

In being open and mature, you can also provide an environment where love and intimacy can flourish once more. With all the confidence and sincerity you have gathered, take these steps. Plus one more. Even in your separation, conflict or difficulties, find it in you to continue loving your partner and showing him or her that you do. Through little, subtle acts, like preparing a snack for him or her or spending some quality TV time, you can rekindle love in your marriage. They don't have to be grand gestures, they just have to be sincere. And coming from the mature, new you, they will.

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Saving A Breakup? Five Most Effective Ways Of Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back


Life can seem very bitter when a dear friend works out from us, especially when there is so much love for him or her. But friend don't worry; because you will get him back, and both of you will share the same love you both shared in the past. Now! Is the time to take action if you really want him back?

Admittance: Be ready to admit to your mistake. Admitting to your mistakes will make things seem fine; making it easier for both of you to make up and get along. Also admitting would make him realize that you are ready to do what it takes to make up and reconcile with him.

Don't Blackmail: Most ladies could be desperate enough to want to blackmail their ex. But this is not advised and encouraged as blackmail would not get his attention but only make matter worse. When you resort to blackmail, it simply means that you have gotten into the realm of desperation and aggression. No matter what happens, and no matter how your feelings escalate, don't resort to blackmail. Don't use his mistakes of the past to hunt him all in a bid to get him back.

Be Patient: Patient is a virtue that every woman must possess. You must be patient with him as he takes his time in reconsidering everything. The process of reconciliation, is not something that should be rushed rather you must learn the art of endurance, and learning how to be patient. Nothing should be done in a hurry as you are liable to make mistakes.

Don't Overplay: Try not to overplay the entire strategy. The whole strategy of you getting him back, don't overplay it or over do it because this would make him suspicious of your motives. Remember too much of everything is bad, and it could all end badly for you if he eventually finds out. So, my advice is just for you to keep it real and simple. Don't overact and just continue to be yourself.

What's New? Find out what is new in his life before you decide to get involve in his life. using this "what's new" idea will really help you in many aspects: it will make you to know is new life style, is recent outing, in general is new character. with this it will be much easier for you because you have already known some new secrets about him, that means you have known is new weak point. Also and most importantly, you must find out if he is already in a relationship in-order to know the right approach to follow towards getting him back.


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Monday, April 11, 2011

Prevent Your Divorce - How to Stop a Divorce When it Seems Inevitable! Absolutely Don't Miss This!

Plenty of individuals are shocked when they listen to that in some Western nations the divorce charge is previously mentioned eighty %. Sure, it seems extremely surprising, but whenever you go down and also have a deeper appear into it; it is not that unexpected. It is the 12 months 2009, and everybody is selfish. And continuing a marriage demands selflessness and dedication. That has these attributes any much more? Not significantly, apparently. And so, you must be congratulated for really attempting to save your marriage.

Indeed, stopping a divorce isn't an effortless factor to complete when issues have achieved a particular degree. It is all the even worse when you are on your own in attempting to quit this divorce - specifically, your husband or wife desires a divorce however you do not. Not merely that is 1 of the worst emotions there at any time was; it is really a fairly harmful scenario also. Why?

Since when you are on your own in attempting to save your marriage, that feeling can make you flip to yourself in lookup for solutions on how you can quit a divorce. You're desperate, your thoughts is becoming rampaged by feelings flying all more than due to your scenario. So, in your desperation, you consider desperate actions including begging your partner for forgiveness. This only hurts your marriage further.

For this reason in the occasion you need to quit your divorce it is vitally essential which you don't flip to yourself and begin asking for some outdoors guidance. It is so essential that I really feel I cannot anxiety this sufficient. Stopping to "think of" approaches to save a marriage and asking for outdoors suggestions rather was what produced me save my marriage from what was a completely hopeless scenario - sure, I've been in your footwear. So, so that you can duplicate my achievement, you need to do what I did and quit attempting to conjure methods of conserving a marriage by yourself.

I do know that that is simpler mentioned than carried out, however it is exactly how I stopped my divorce and saved my marriage from what seemed like a completely desperate scenario. Like you, I required support performing this. I discovered aid from an outdoors supply - and now I'm your "outside source", and wish to display you what I exactly did to save my marriage and just how I did it.

My marriage was failing on every aspect - it was such a troubled marriage that I thought there was no hope. Yet, now I am still with my husband and I have saved my marriage. Click here to visit my website and see what I did!

I am an newyork girl, my name is Maria Grazia. I am single, 22 y.o., I live in Milan and I am a university student.


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